I have been lying awake since 330am full of nerves. I finally got out of my bunk at 445 and put on some coffee. when I glanced out of the companionway I saw the beautiful moon hanging in the sky. a crescent new moon reminding me in her steadfast way of the opportunity for growth, new beginnings and mainly that all is well. while I was lying here in my bunk half awake, I was drawing on the strength that everyone's cards, texts, emails and calls have given. I have been distracted and not always able to respond, but each expression of love and support has helped to keep me grounded and focused on my goal.
despite all the love and support around me, I have had to pull into myself and feel what is real for me and me only. as my departure has drawn near I have been faced with some loved ones' fears, worries and well meaning warnings. I definitely understand where they are coming from and feel the love behind them but now is not the time to listen to anything but my own counsel. I do not mean to be rude or dismissive in not taking on their concerns but i have had to draw a firm line. this line I believe, is the beginning of my actual journey. a journey to myself and my truth. One of my go to habits in life has been to allow others opinions to sway me or out of fear of upsetting another not being true to my own inner compass. I can feel that those days are over and this journey has been leading me to the point where I can truly see that and integrate it into my own growth. this feels huge this morning as I sit in the dark of my beloved Haunani with the wink of the crescent moon beckoning me to follow her to deeper waters and a deeper knowing of myself.
I will be sailing away tomorrow holding the intention of sailing one mile at a time the best way I know how. I have what I need inside me to face anything that comes my way from the physical to he emotional and I welcome all of the transformation I know that will bring. I am truly humbled by his experience so far and I know it is only the beginning.
this was written on my phone at 5 am. pleas forgive any typos or weird formatting :-))